She's Gone
by perzysanogar
Summary: You tell her you love her, and just like before, you see her melting and her anger dissipating.


Spoilers: Season 4 I guess, both are in college.

Disclaimer: As usual, characters aren't mine but mistakes are.

* * *

_I love you._

She says it the first time and you can see the sincerity in her eyes. You cup her cheeks and kiss her tears away. She's here, and you think _finally_, you feel _loved_.

You feel adored, you feel safe.

She's been there for you the whole time and you wonder why you didn't see it. You can't say it back, but she smiles and kisses you with intensity, because she felt like it will be the last time, and you kiss her back. You take her to the bed and she spends the whole night loving you, worshipping your body and you've never felt this much adoration from someone before.

You wake up with your legs tangled with hers.

x

She makes sure to see you every time. She doesn't mind going to New Haven every time she could and you're just glad that she does. And that she doesn't ask for you to do anything in return. You flinch every time she holds your hand in public but she doesn't mind, she understands.

You introduce her to your friends and she's polite, she smiles at their jokes and she listens to what they have to say. You ask her if she likes them. _They're your friends_, she replies with a smile. You know she doesn't, because your friends look at her condescendingly and they don't take her major seriously. But she puts up with them anyway.

x

You're in a bar with your friends and you take her with you. They ask you why you're always with her and why she's always here. You tell them she's a close friend. You dance with her and you know you've consumed more alcohol than she did. She kisses you and you kiss back, but you push her away after a while. You grab a drink and this guy comes up to you. He's tall, has brown hair and brown eyes. You grab him by the collar and kiss him. You pull away and you see her retreating back. You don't bother to go after her, you stumble your way out and hail a cab back to your dorm. You don't change your clothes and go straight to bed.

You wake up to a text message asking if you got home alright.

x

She still comes the weekend after that. She doesn't bring up what happened and she still smiles at you with the same adoring smile that she always did.

x

_I love you._

She says again.

This time you say it back.

x

You still flinch every time she holds your hand in public, but she remains silent and pretends that it doesn't bother her.

x

You meet a guy in your writing class. He's nice, he makes you laugh. He asks you if you're dating anyone and you say no. That night he's in your room and the two of you order take out.

She texts you what you're doing and you tell her you're about to sleep.

x

She spends the next weekend in New Haven, just like she always does. The same guy from your class calls you and you lock yourself in your bedroom to talk to him. When you came back to the living room she asks you who it was. You told her it was your mom asking you how you are. She knows you're lying but she lets it go anyway.

She spends all night kissing every inch of your body, whispering _I love you _after every kiss. She kisses your mouth languidly, kisses your neck while you ride out your orgasm. She tells you that you're beautiful and you fall asleep in her arms.

x

The guy from your class, Scott, asks you out to dinner. You say yes. He walks you home and you see her waiting for you on your doorstep. He introduces himself and she shakes his hand with a strained smile. you say good bye to him and he takes you by surprise when he kisses you on the cheek.

She asks you how long it will take for you to figure your shit out. You flinch because she doesn't normally swear. You breathe, you sigh, you stand up and put your arms around her waist. You whisper _I love you_ in her ear and you feel her anger dissipating. You kiss her and she lets you.

She's gone when you wake up the next morning.

x

The next weekend she doesn't come.

You call Scott and ask him what he's doing. And a few minutes later he's into your room, ripping your clothes apart.

You text her when you wake up.

_I'm sorry._

x

You go out and drink alone. You can't see clearly and you stumble your way through the crowd. You're about to fall when you feel those familiar arms holding you up. You ask her why she's there and you apparently called her while you were on your way to your fourth shot of tequila. She takes you home and she holds your hair up while you empty the contents of your stomach.

You wake up alone with an aspirin and a glass of water on your nightstand.

x

Scott still takes you out. And she knows you're with him whenever you tell her you're finishing a paper.

x

She finally asks you if you want him. You tell her you don't. You tell her you love her, and just like before, you see her melting and her anger dissipating. She lets you take her to bed and you kiss every spot that makes her go weak. She half-moans and half-sobs in your ear but she doesn't complain.

She's gone when you wake up.

x

_I love you._

She says once again. This time you can't say it back. You respond with a choked _Rachel_.

She gives you a sad smile. Like she has already expected this to happen. She kisses your forehead and leaves.

She's gone. And this time you never hear from her again.

* * *

A/N: God I'm so sorry. I don't even know why I did this it just came to my head.


End file.
